It’s not easy at this time of year to be focused on the reason for the season. Thanks to this new world where we have to be offended by something every other breath, this season has been even more fraught than usual. Once we’ve all taken sides and pitchforks against each other in the social media battlefield over songs, there is still all the other exhausting holiday things to do: decorating, shopping, wrapping, gifting, parties, events, traveling, cooking, baking, and more shopping.
I’ve been out of the Christmas loop for the last few years as we are usually moving at Christmas. It’s easy to justify no need go all out with decorating when your life is in boxes. However, this year, we are staying put for once, and the kids have expectations. Adults aren’t the only ones bombarded with media telling us what the “perfect Christmas” looks like! It affects kids as well.
I’m homeschooling this year and so I’ve bought more presents than I usually do. I’ve noticed that my daughter isn’t playing with certain toys and asks for time with others that she would find in a more traditional kindergarten classroom. Lord help me, but I’ve bought a few puzzles. They’re not the first puzzles, we’ve owned, of course. It’s just that it’s so easy to lose pieces. Sigh. I’ve bought a few other activity things for us to do, replacement supplies for her play kitchen because I guess they sprouted legs but I can’t find them anywhere. No wonder she doesn’t want to play with it! I’ve complained on Facebook that the only thing I can find for my son is Lego kits. He happens to love Legos but it seems like his gifts should be more well-rounded.
I came up with a plan to buy cookies and pass them around the neighborhood. We’ve been here 6 months and I only know the next door neighbor’s name. She has custody of her grandkids who are near in age to my daughter. However, since we are homeschooling, I rarely see them. Thank goodness my husband is on vacation this week. He can help us in the kitchen while we bake and make sure tiny hands are washed so we don’t spread salmonella or something.
I actually don’t have to do much cooking for the big day itself. We will be traveling to visit family a few hours away. But then…well, then there’s the politics of family and in-laws. It comes with a strange house the kids don’t know and strange people and strange customs and lots and lots of opinions. I’ll be sure to take my anti-anxiety medicine that day.
And then there’s the issue of the Ghost of Christmas Past. I’m a headcase, plain and simple. Growing up, Christmas was always a tough time. I’m full of memories of arguments and fights, fear of bills, anxiety over presents, and just a looming sense of disaster. Again, pass the anxiety meds, as I try to bottle up memories and keep them from seeping into everything in my present life.
Through it all, I try to teach my children the true meaning of Christmas. I tell them it’s better to give than to receive when they can’t understand why we are donating new toys to Toys for Tots, donate to a charity, or give some loose change and spare cash to red Salvation Army bins. I remind them again, and again, and again, that Christmas is NOT about presents. It’s not about Santa. It’s not about all the expectations we’ve created of decorations or food or even forced cheerfulness and visiting family. I want them to know the real reason for the season because I don’t know what the future holds for them. What if they one day take a job where they have to work on Christmas? What if they live far away from us and can’t visit over the holiday? What if they just prefer a minimal existence and don’t enjoy decking the halls with holly? I want them to know that Christmas is in their hearts and can be all year long. I want them to know that they can still have a wonderful, blessed, happy Christmas even if xyz doesn’t happen.
And just when I am feeling entirely over-exhausted from it all, one of them will say something that lets me know they get it. It makes it all worth it. This holiday season, remember the real reason for the season. Remember to give to the less fortunate. Remember to spread love and cheer. Have grace for others, you never know what battle people are going through. Have open arms and an open heart. And if that exhausts you, and it might, well, at least then it will be worth something instead of being exhausted from all the manic shopping and vainglorious display the media tells us is necessary for Christmas. Take back Christmas!
4 thoughts on “Friday Feeling– Taking back Christmas”
I enjoyed this post Rose. I too taught my children to give as well as receive. They still follow that and will teach their little boys the same.
I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas.
Every year I simplify holidays more. This year I have the tree up (and have for more than a week) but its only decoration is a Christmas tie. Maybe I’ll add the Twelve Days of Christmas china Christmas bells that my mother gave me.
Re your children: If you are near a museum or big art gallery, you might find creative and enticing children’s toys there that aren’t on the radar at regular toy stores. They may give you ideas for things your children could make for themselves as projects before playing with.
My son at your son’s age loved playing with polyominos (described here: http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Polyomino.html – and could be made out of squares of paper) Perhaps look at some books on math puzzles for children.; my son loved Martin Gardner’s books. I see this paperback is not expensive and one reviewer gave it to his Elementary-school son who still cherishes it years later: My Best Mathematical and Logic Puzzles by Martin Gardner (reviewer cautions against getting it in Kindle, as the font is too small and it’s hard to check the answers)
Have you seen the wonderful reply to a young boy’s question about Santa that going around? The father asks him if he really wants to know, as once known, it cannot be unknown. Then he explains Santa is in all of us – the spirit of giving without self-interest – and once you know the secret, you become part of it, so his son must now look out for ways to help and bring joy to others. Anyway it is beautiful.; I have not done it justice.
What an enjoyable post. Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and a blessed 2019.
Joan,Marion and Marilyn
Take Elizabeth’s advice about remembering the past only as it gives you pleasure. I’m happy to have discovered you recently, love your posts! Merry Christmas!