Music Monday– Have Thine Own Way Lord

I know I usually post Contemporary Christian Music or even a few worship songs, but I absolutely adore old hymns. I sang in choir in school and play piano, so I just love the musicality of hymns while they also share the power and truth of God’s word and how it applies to our lives.

The lyrics to this one touch on something that I think all humans grapple with. We want things our way. Even those of us that aren’t given to reckless impulses can arrogantly think we know best. Sometimes it’s even more difficult as a Christian. If I believe God dwells in me and I walk in His will, then surely I know what He wants.

Recently, I moved. My family and I were so happy where we were in South Carolina. Okay, the heat, humidity, and bugs got to us sometimes. However, we had grown a lot spiritually and loved our church family. When my husband and I began to feel like God was drawing us back to Virginia, it was confusing. Even as it was shown to us again and again, it was a constant struggle to submit our preferences to God. And once we moved it didn’t get any easier. It was so easy to doubt it’s what God wanted while adjusting to a new life.

I, especially, had to continually put aside my own feelings. If I went by my feelings alone, we wouldn’t have moved. We certainly wouldn’t have been living in my father-in-law’s house. It’s nothing against him, I’m just not a fan of sharing spaces–even though his area is totally separate. I don’t like the house itself! I don’t like the location either.

Shortly after we moved in, we were given notice that the owners intended to sell. I hate moving. I have done it far too much. I couldn’t stomach the thought of moving again so soon. Additionally, there were few things if any that we liked in our price range and absolutely nothing that would work with father-in-law. We didn’t think we were in the position to buy, but were approved for a certain amount. In our opinion, it’s more than the house is worth as it has several major problems. However, the owner kept telling other people that he wanted a much higher amount for the house. Of course that got back to us.

Would we offer for it? Would he accept? What improvements need to be made first? What about renovations so we can happily stay for a long time? Can we actually do drastic changes to the floorplan?

Wait a minute! I don’t even WANT to do any of this. And moving might even be preferable. Oh, but there’s still nothing available as an alternative.

As of typing this out, it’s still all unresolved. The limbo is stressful. About a week ago, I was so stressed and resentful. None of it was what I wanted and I didn’t think I was asking too much! All this on top of moving here when I didn’t even want to do it in the first place. Why is it others can have a house they like or tolerate and not have to move every few months? I know we all have trials and tribulations, God, but this is really just a bit too much!

But thinking that way just made me more miserable. The thing is, I needed to submit even more to God, the master of everything. No, it doesn’t make sense to me. But, I know every single time that I’ve been in the middle of a storm it has not made sense. By God’s grace, He’s helped me through each of them and never left me alone. In hindsight, I can see He was not only there in the midst, but that He had a great design. He has a plan, just like I do as an author when I put a character through something.

I don’t have an answer, yet, if we will get the house or move somewhere else. However, I am recommitted to desiring God’s will in my life above my own. Even Jesus had to submit to the will of the Father.

“Christ only, always, living in me.”

For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.

John 6:38