I moved across state (again) in the middle of April. We had a great routine babysitter which allowed me to rest as much as I needed as well as get some work done. We also hired cleaners so we weren’t arguing about the cleanliness of the house. We also made use of date night sitters. We had a church. I frequently had to stream service in the last few months, but even that was a wonderful experience.
Now, we’re starting all over again. We have found a church we liked, but it starts a bit earlier and we haven’t always been successful in getting out the door on time. Eventually, I know we will make connections through this place.
I have FINALLY found a good match for a babysitter. She starts next week. Fingers crossed this one sticks.
I have struggled to occupy the kids, give myself rest, and keep us all happy the last few weeks. Yesterday, after hiring the sitter, I started to have some second thoughts and doubts. Was I being an awful mom? Great mothers did not need help. They could do it all on their own.
Then, I remembered the idea that it takes a village to raise a child.
I’m going to extend this idea to not just a child. Everyone needs a village. Your village can grow over time as well. There’s no need to have a complete village this very instant. Also, don’t forget that each member of the village is crucial. That includes you!
Rose Fairbanks 
Don’t beat yourself up over this Rose. You spend a lot of time with your children and you do need some ‘me’ time (especially if you don’t want your health to suffer more).
I brought my two up on my own but was so grateful when my parents looked after them for a few hours so I could have a bit of time to myself. Both my children have grown up to be caring people who are great parents themselves and I’m sure yours will appreciate all you do for them.
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My daughter is only 5 and is immature for her age due to her ADHD. It’s been a bit harder for her than my son to understand my limitations. Especially as I used to just ignore my body and plow through it. She sometimes lays it on thick. “I wish you never had MS!” Yeah, me too. The real struggle is to not allow my feelings of guilt to create an environment where that sort of manipulation is ok. She’s just being a kid now but I’ve seen some pretty devastating consequences to people who never learn to stop. l try to focus instead on what I can do to give attention. She is so active herself that it’s difficult when I can’t keep up. I just want her to know that it doesn’t mean I love her any less. And a babysitter will certainly help meet that need she has. It would honestly be selfish of me to think that I should do it all and because my ego can’t handle to see me fail to limit the kids in such a way. I’m learning to reframe how my brain works.
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