Today is my 15th wedding anniversary! I know a lot of people say the years go by fast…but that’s not really true in my case. I feel like it was a few lifetimes ago. My husband and I have been through SO much more than we could have expected all those years ago. We’ve had to reinvent ourselves and pick ourselves back up several times. We’ve had tough months and years. Times of almost calling it quits and falling in love all over again. However, I would do it all again with him by my side. I certainly love him more now than I did then.
Today is also another anniversary. On this day a year ago, I started feeling numbness in the back of my left leg. I thought it was sciatica. I had experienced what I thought was that before. In the weeks that followed, I would lose feeling all over my body combined with extreme pain. I would barely be able to walk. I’d be so dizzy that I could hardly stumble to the bathroom. I would have memory loss, my speech and cognitive abilities affected. Most of the time, I was so tired that a shower would completely exhaust me and I’d have to lay in bed for hours (but not be able to sleep due to the pain). There would be days when I wouldn’t know how I could get through. Days of fear so bad I couldn’t even admit to myself the worries I had.
Two months after it started, I was diagnosed with MS. In hindsight, I had been having attacks, predominately in the fall, for years. I’m happy to say that with the help of medication, I have not had a relapse in the last year. I am not back to my “old self.” I suppose I will never entirely regain my energy levels. I’m also more protective of my “spoons” now. However, nothing has gotten worse. I am now seldom dizzy or have pain that an Advil can’t take care of. I don’t often have cognitive fuzziness or speech problems.
It would seem these two anniversaries are at odds with one another, but they’re really not. You see, during this health fiasco, I had to lean on my husband in a whole new way. We tested the limits of the vow “in sickness and in health.” He’s been there for me and been supportive every step of the way and I would not be doing as well as I am without him. Instead of remembering the onset of MS as the “beginning of the end,” I can remember it as the beginning of growing even more in love with my husband and committed to my marriage.
What are the most important anniversaries in your life?