Hey, there. How’s it been going for you?
It’s been hard for me. I’ve had some medical setbacks and feel like I’m in medical limbo again. But I’ve had lots of good news too! However, that doesn’t entirely offset the other disappointments. Combined with other difficulties which I will go into at a later date, and I wound up severely depressed. I would say it was even crippling. I spent weeks doing nothing but binging on Call the Midwife. I couldn’t write. I have never had such little interest in writing since I began–and I wrote through the worst of MS pain and exhaustion! I couldn’t focus enough to read.
In the past, I’ve always turned to praise when struggling in life. This time, I found praise and prayer difficult. I could tell it wasn’t making it as deep in my soul as usual. I kept it up, but instead of getting frustrated (like I had been which led up to the depression onset), I allowed room to just sit in that state. Maybe it wasn’t time for me to pour out my heart to God. Maybe it was about being still and knowing that He alone was still God. When I had no answers in my life, it didn’t change that He was still on the scene. I couldn’t hear His voice if I was wailing too loudly. He was there for me even as my grief turned silent.
By and by, I felt myself returning. The deepest heartaches eased with time. His grace was more than sufficient for me. It’s taught me a lesson that I hope I don’t forget. This depressive episode was very different from any in the past. I actually believed I was healed of what caused those earlier bouts and went months without any sign of depression. The enemy came in like a flood and when my strength failed, Jesus was there. He is made perfect in my weakness. I never really understood what that meant before.
Why do I share all of this, especially with this song? Well, there would be other songs that could illustrate those feelings and revelations better. However, sometimes when I share about my trials and how God overcame them for me, it seems like sometimes people are left with the impression that it’s about ME. That I did something special or am special. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m a NOBODY. I just want to share with everybody about Jesus. It’s been NOBODY BUT JESUS that has rescued my life and turned everything meant for evil into good.
This is one of the songs that I played when things were at the worst. I always enjoyed it and was aware when I was too numb to feel the benefit of it. But when that feeling returned, it was all the more sweet. I share it today for those that feel like nobodies.
I’ll close by highlighting a part of the second verse. It’s the enemy that tells us we don’t matter to anyone, especially God.
Well the moral of the story is
Everybody’s got a purpose
So when I hear that devil start talking to me saying
“Who do you think you are?”
I say
I’m just a nobody
Trying to tell everybody
All about Somebody
Who saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me
You gave my heart a song to sing
I’m living for the world to see
*This is a live version from my church. I’m not sharing it just out of loyalty. This is actually my favorite version. If you prefer to hear the radio version and see the music video with it, it’s originally performed by Casting Crowns.
Nobody but Jesus
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus
Rose Fairbanks 