Motivational Monday– Slow Progress

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A lot of writers spend November manically trying to write 50,000 words in a month for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo or NaNo). It’s really not so unattainable for the average full-time writer. It averages out to 1667 words a day, which I can do in about an hour. As long as I know what I’m writing… And the hardest part is always the consistency–doing it every day. If you miss a day, then you’re playing catch up and trying to add to it. Miss more than one and it’s even harder etc.

November is a hard month for me. The first time I tried NaNo was in 2014. I had two published stories (well, one was on pre-order). I had completed several other stories before but had never tried to do an entire novel in one month. I got sooo close! If memory serves, I got to 45,000 words and had one day left. I could have made it. However, I was moving literally the next day and my kids–only 4 and 1 at the time–needed a return to normalcy. My son has Autism Spectrum Disorder the fall wreaks havoc on his routine. He shifts from waking up at 6 am to waking up at 5 am. He just turned 8 and by now, I have accepted this. In 2014, I was far less prepared to accept the reality of more 5 am (or earlier) wakeups.

I’m mentioning my history with NaNo because the other day I saw a Facebook status which upset me. It was a memory of one of my status from 2014. I was working on a story in which Darcy was to inherit Longbourn and Lady Catherine’s rector. Essentially, he was Mr. Collins. How would Elizabeth react? About 20,000 words into it, I realized this should just be an original story. I had already started writing the story before November began, so I realized that within a few days of the month. I spent the remainder of the month working on that story and changed all the names and tried to make it not like Pride and Prejudice. Then November ended and I froze. The almost completed manuscript is still on my hard drive.

I didn’t stop there though. I did turn my attention to other things but for the last four years, I have dusted off that manuscript every few months. I’ve sent it to beta readers and asked if it should really be an original. I’ve even thought that I could do both–make an original and keep the premise of Darcy in Collins’ place and write two different stories. In 2016, I came up with a series theme focusing on one real-life event from the Regency era per book. I had a few other non-JAFF stories that would work perfectly in the series. However, I had the most words on this story and it would have been the last one in the series. So I started on what was supposed to be Book One. Last year, I realized that book is really a prequel and they don’t do well until the rest of the series is out. I abandoned that story. Earlier this year, I realized that I should just round out the books and make it the full Regency. I started on the new Book One of the series and gave everything new titles. The Baronet’s Heart is now Tempting Scandal. I began posting but then got caught up with other things.

Can you see why I’m disappointed in myself? So much start and stop. So little progress. But is it really? I have learned a lot about myself, writing, my goals and so much more during each of these stops.

Oh, there’s more that I could be disappointed about. Things never go according to plan. I’m working on 2019 goals right now and know I won’t reach half of them. Sigh. However, this pic has reminded me that forward is forward and looking back at my supposed “failings” doesn’t help a thing!

When is a time you had to focus on just moving forward and not worrying about the timing? Or is there something in your life right now that this could apply to? Oh, and in case you were curious, my goal this November is to write at least 500 words every day! I did miss one, but instead of despairing I just said, “The whole point is to learn to do better and be more consistent. I will make mistakes at the beginning, but hopefully, by the end of the month I will be doing better.” That’s MAJOR progress for me, a perfectionist in recovery!

Music Monday–War Paint

Beautiful black and white rose with note on the petals

A few weeks ago, I had the song Neon Love on my Music Monday post. I enjoyed the artist so much I had to see what else she had available on YouTube. That’s when I found War Paint. Oh my gosh. This song speaks to me so much. It’s turned into the anthem for Mr. Darcy’s Compassion.

Do you have anyone in your life that can fearlessly wear your scars like war paint? Or have you done it for a loved one?

 

[Verse 1]
It’s okay to not be okay
When even the air you breathe
Is just too much for your lungs to take
And all the words that you don’t say
I hear your SOS on the radio
As you’re driving away
C’mon pick up your phone
Don’t have to face it alone
Gonna fight with you and for you
Yeah I want you to know

[Chorus]
I will stand your ground
I’ll kiss your battle scars
And leave my XO mark till you can feel it
Can you feel it?
You can call my name
I’ll hold your hand grenade
Keep all your secrets safe ’til you can see me
Can you see me coming?
Running for you dead of night
Can you hear me, hola, you’re alright
I’ll take your fears and wipe your eyes and wear it all like war paint
Wear it all like war paint, wear it all like war paint

[Verse 2]
I see gold, when you’re black and blue
I love the colours burning beautiful that you wanna use
When all you want is to get out alive
You don’t have to cry for me to hear your battle cry
C’mon turn on your light
I’ve been waiting all night
To fight with you and for you
When all your flags are white

[Chorus]
I will stand your ground
I’ll kiss your battle scars
And leave my XO mark till you can feel it
Can you feel it?
You can call my name
I’ll hold your hand grenade
Keep all your secrets safe ’til you can see me
Can you see me coming?
Running for you dead of night
Can you hear me, hola, you’re alright
I’ll take your fears and wipe your eyes and wear it all like war paint
Wear it all like war paint, wear it all like war paint

Wear it all like war paint, wear it all like war paint

I will stand your ground
I’ll kiss your battle scars
And leave my XO mark till you can feel it
Can you feel it?
You can call my name
I’ll hold your hand grenade
Keep all your secrets safe ’til you can see me
Can you see me coming?
Running for you dead of night
Can you hear me, hola, you’re alright
I’ll take your fears and wipe your eyes and wear it all like war paint
Wear it all like war paint, wear it all like war paint

Wear it all like war paint, wear it all like war paint

Writer(s): ERIC OLSON, MADELINE MERLO, APRIL GEESBREGHT Performed by Madeline Merlo