I heard “Monday Confessions” on the radio yesterday. I also used to be on a forum that had “flame free Friday confessions.” My confession: I totally judge confessions!
I’m not saying I judge that they’re a bad or good person based on the confessions, but I can’t help but have some kind of visceral reaction whether I agree or disagree with their actions. Is that judging? Part of me wants to say no. But, then I looked up the definition.
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to form an estimate or evaluation of trying to judge the amount of time required; especially : to form a negative opinion about shouldn’t judge him because of his accent
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6: to hold as an opinion : guess, think I judge she knew what she was doing
So…yeah, I do judge. Next, is it bad to be so judgey?
I spent years of my life saying no. Especially since I usually keep my opinions to myself there’s no harm. But there is harm. Making judgments about things I don’t know details on, judging a person at a glance or from a few interactions, harm me. It highlights my insecurities.
I am not athletic. I lack hand-eye coordination and am horrifically ungraceful. I am awful at sports. I enjoy watching sometimes and used to play volleyball with my church. I went for fellowship more than for the joy of hitting the ball (which often landed on my face). However, I don’t feel insecure about my skills because it’s not something I place value on taking the time to learn. Would I feel embarrassed if I played next to a pro? Maybe, although I’d likely shrug my shoulders and declare, of course, they’re better than me. I wouldn’t feel insecure, though.
On the other hand, I do feel insecure about writing at times. And you betcha, I do find myself passing judgments on writers. This extends to plenty of other things. The case in point on listening to the Monday morning confessions included a confession from a special education teacher and a mom. My son is autistic and in special ed, and it’s so tempting to think at times I could do it better, or they’re not doing enough. I want to believe that because it makes me feel better about myself. It’s destructive. It doesn’t help them with their job or help my son. The same with the mother’s confession. I feel insecure about my mothering probably twenty times a day.
So my confession: I will continue to try not to be a Judgey McJudgey. I have improved from years ago and will continue to do so. In the meantime, I humbly ask no one put on their judgey pants when looking at my hot mess, lol.
Are you ever judgmental? If not, do you have another confession?
Rose Fairbanks 